Passing Away
Though I volunteer with Care For Dogs several months at a time, I work at a veterinary clinic in the US the rest of the time. This story ties in lessons learned from both.
I walk into the room with hesitation. They told me when I started this job that it never gets easier. There’s a woman sitting on the floor, tearfully holding onto her dying doggy, and a man holding onto the woman. With every euthanasia, this room gets filled with sobs, grief, families trying to hold onto a pet that begs to leave, and animals whose bodies are in so much pain but who beg to still be held.
I sit down and caress the dog’s head. She wags her tail. Timidly. And with difficulty. Her belly is grossly enlarged. It seems painful for her to breathe.
Before I came into the room, I’d read in her file that she’d been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and, though she’d courageously battled it, it had spread and she was done fighting.
She was clearly loved. Her family held her tight as the doctor came in, whispered sweetness in her ear as the doctor gave the injection, and kissed her cheek as she passed away.
As I softly closed the door to give the family privacy, the couple held onto their dog’s body tearfully unwilling to believe that they’d lost a friend.
They told me when I started this job that it never gets easier.
But to me, this is easier. Easier to watch an animal slip into sleep surrounded by a family that felt whole because of him. Easier to watch an animal die in the arms of someone whose only wish is to relieve their loved one’s pain. Easier to watch someone cry at the loss of their doggy, instead of being indifferent to it. It’s easier than seeing someone using their whole upper strength to beat in their dog because it killed their chicken or ruined their couch. Easier than seeing a dog struck by several cars as it tries to cross the street and watching it take its last breath on the burning hot pavement, alone and in agony, run over one last time by a driver who didn’t care enough to get out of the way.
I have to confess that when I do cry at a euthanasia, they’re mostly tears of gratitude. I recognize the love the doggy experienced and its thankfulness for it. I cry at seeing the doggy try to wag its tail just one last time to let its owners know that everything’ll be okay.
Volunteering with Care For Dogs has taught me that loss is not the greatest pain, indifference to love is. And we are so blessed to be surrounded by living beings who, after much sleep and food, think only of giving back the love they have been blessed with.
Category: Volunteer Feedback
Tagged as: dog, Euthanasia, loss, vet
Deeply touched and tears in my eyes!
Superbly well written Amandine. You summed it up perfectly. I battled to read this without tears streaming down my cheeks. I dread the day I lose one of my best friends. Sadly the reality of loves’ indifference and misunderstanding are the hardest things to face here and many other countries. If only we could change the world to show love, understanding & compassion to all animals!
Beautiffully written!
I was so moved by your story. Please take the time – I know it’s hard, you’re so busy – to write more about your “best friends” – you’ve got the talent for it. I have always thought you could be a great journalist!
Absolutely beautiful, and true. I am a vet in an animal shelter and having experienced many situations of animal loss, I have to agree that it is so much easier when I can humanely euthanize a loved animal that has had a life full of people who appreciate them. It’s awful that there are animals that do not know this love. Thanks for sharing.
Only just read this story but can’t stop the tears flowing and wanted to comment on how beautifully written i thought this article was.
Anyone who looks at the Care For Dogs website does so because of their love of our furry friends. I’m also guessing that the vast majority of these people have gone through a similar harrowing ordeal like the one you explain above. Losing a best friend, a creature that listens and loves and sticks by you no matter what, is one of the saddest things i’ve ever had to deal with in my life. But your insight, understanding, knowledge and thoughtful words on such sad an experience help it all make sense and lift the utter grief of loss.
After travelling much of Asia and volunteering at Care For Dogs I saw first hand the loneliness and pain some dogs had been put through due to human acts. So yes, as hard as it is, I realise now our beloved doggies are far better off being put to sleep with love all around than suffering miserably and painfully by themselves.
Thanks for your beautiful words Amandine.